Not your typical Hogwarts Day
by SakuraAngel3
Summary: This is a parody which includes some Star Wars and Lord of the Ring references. It's just for fun, because I love Harry Potter, and I like to write crazy things sometimes. It's pretty random


This is just a fic I made up for fun, it just makes me laugh and hope it does you to. Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling, Scholastic, and all of J.K.'s agents and publishers. I also don't own Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Sailor Mooon, or the lyrics to Witchy Woman and Lady Marmalade.

It was a normal day; everyone was coming down to the Great Hall for breakfast. Snape was quieter than usual, which was freaking everyone out. He sat there at Dumbledore took the last of the Honey Nut Cheerios.

"Dangit that's twice today, things are not going my way! Draco stole my Suave!" Snape looks accusingly at Draco. As usual he glared at Harry and his friends, who were no doubt planning on breaking rules as quickly as possible. Snape magically made a microphone appear in his hand and stood up on the table.

"What in the bloody hell do you think you're doing?" McGonagall said. Snape didn't reply but started singing

"I'm a bitch. I'm a mother. I'm a child. I'm a lover. I'm a sinner. I'm a saint. I'm everything you ain't!" Everyone stared at he did a somewhat salsa dance along with it.

Dumbledore, usually calm and collected, blushed. "Okay Severus I think it's time we go visit a nice shrink."

Severus started sniffing. "No fair! I didn't get to finish my song!"

Ron raised his eyebrows. "Great git finally lost it." It was even more odd that in the tower where Trelawney was she was doing her own odd thing. She was dressed in a Britney Spears style suit.

"Oh that Sev, he's a hard one, slips through my fingers he does," She gave a nasty grin. "Oops I did it Again! I played with your heart! Got lost in the game! Oh baby baby! Oops! You think I'm in love! And I'm sent from above. I'm not that innocent!"

McGonagall walked in. "Sybil you right out old fraud! Trying to steal my man!"

She snatches the player from Trewlaney and hisses "My precious!"

Sybil rolls her eyes. "Get a life you wanna be Lord of the Rings freak!"

Sybil draws a lightsaber. " The force runs strong in my family, I have it, uh I have it, dang this isn't working!" Sybil grins.

"The force ain't with ya Luke!" McGonagall cackles.

Sybil transforms into a Sailor Senshi uniform. "Man you're a stupid idiot." McGonagall raises an eyebrow.

Sybil laughs. "Great insult Einstein!" They clash when Flitwick runs by. "

Sybil I'll love you until my dying day!" Flitwick sings trying to sound remotely like Ewen McGregor.

Snape walks in "Oh witchy woman see how high she flies. Oh witchy woman." He stops dead in his tracks when he sees McGonagall and Sybil stare at him.

"Get him!" They scream.

"Ahhh!" Snape yells in total fear.

He runs for his life while Flitwick calls tauntingly "Run Severus run!" Severus trips and tries to defend himself

Please ladies, I'm allergic to weirdoes, I mean pretty ladies."

Sybil puts on bright red lipstick. "Prepare for the kiss of your life Sevy Bear!" He cringes but then someone knocks him over.

"Stop in the name of me!" Everyone looks up.

"Just who the heck are you?" Snape sneers.

It's Harry. "Who am I? I'm Spider... No wait I'm Tablecloth man!"

Snape rolls his eyes. "What a dumb name for a superhero! Maybe not to someone housewife from the fifties." Harry goes away crestfallen smacking into a banister. Snape finally escapes the wild women and manages to watch Moulin Rogue for the eighth time.

"Nichole can't die! No no no!" He blows his nose when the dinner bell sounds. He sees Madam Hooch, Sybil, McGonagall, and Sprout in a corner snickering.

"Uh oh should I run now?"

That's when Hermione goes up to Draco. "I need to tell you something."

Draco sneers. "What's that?"

Hermione clears her throat. "Before I leave I just need to say I truly, deeply, loathe you!" She sticks out her tongue and walks off. In the middle of dinner Sybil makes a table appear. Sprout, Sybil, and McGonagall get up on stage.

"Hey sisters soul sisters better get that dough sisters!" Sprout sings. "We drink wine with diamonds in the glass. By the case, the meaning of expensive taste."

McGonagall takes the next part.

"Gitchy gitchy ya ya da da (hey hey hey)  
Gitchy gitchy ya ya here  
Mocha chocolata ya ya  
Creole Lady Marmalade!" All of them join in. "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir? (oh oh)  
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi? (yeah yeah yeah yeah)!"

Madam Hooch sings directly at Snape. "Made the savage beast inside, roar into he cried"

They are jerked off stage by a very embarrassed Dumbledore, and the rest of the Great Hall is in hysterics, and put in "adult detention".

Snape sighs, "I have entered the Twilight Zone!"

Crazy yes, but so am I! Lol.


End file.
